Tuesday, September 8, 2009
No more drama
I learned today that one of the fabulous friends I made in chemo room is having challenges. It's what we all live with-the return of what once was ,we prayed,gone forever. Metastasis. That word was the great unsaid thing that loomed over me from the beginning and you find a way to deal with it. My lovely friend, teacher, mother, wife,daughter is waiting for the "m" confirmation on 2 fronts and is determined to work and get treatment at same time-to fight this thing again. I love her spirit and am sure of her success but it made me wonder about my reaction his late in our treatment (1 year). What I always thought of as my worst case scenario is now just another mile marker and there is a calm and a peace that I could not have conceived of having in the face of this news even 6 months ago but today I have a different reaction. I think maybe the drama (in the crazy,unknown fearful, raging obsession meaning of the term) is not in me any longer. Maybe it's less unknown and therefore more amenable to a plan but as I lay here ready for sleep I think it, like patience, is something that comes with the experience. So blog 2 of what now creates the happy lawyer is, I hope, a leveling out of experience-less drama and more peace. Or it could always be the drugs....
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This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Anne of Green Gables: "A body can get used to anything, even to being hanged, as the Irishman said." When I was young, I used to hear about things and think that I myself could never bear that (and it's not as if I didn't have plenty to bear, even at a very young age). But I guess as you get older and go through more and more and watch more and more of your friends go through things, you discover that you can in fact get used to anything, even to being hanged. I'm glad for the peace. Hope your friend gets good news.
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